Along with rediscovering feelings, I've also been rediscovering aspects of my personality. As it turns out... I really like books! This will come as exactly no surprise to anyone who knows me. I did an English literature degree, I have masses of bookshelves in my parents' home, I get excited over being able to designate a 'book pocket' in my handbag. I am a book person. But over the last few years this has felt more and more like a lie. I barely read proper novels at all, except on the tube. On my worst days, I couldn't even be bothered to do that. My goodreads shows gaps of three months between books - several times. I became a person who talked about books (and sometimes listened to audiobooks) but didn't read.
In the last few weeks, there's been a turnaround. I first noticed it when I was reading Finnikin of the Rock (see above). I actually enjoyed it. Not only that, but I wanted to read it when I wasn't on the tube. I got to choir early and I pulled out my ereader to keep reading. Even when friends arrived that I could have talked to, I preferred to keep reading. That hasn't happened in a very long time indeed.
Then another thing happened. I stopped reading a book I wasn't enjoying. This is absolutely unheard of for me. I finish books. I finished Perfume even though it was both weird and disturbing (and not in a good way). I finished The White Witch even though the writing was pretty bad and the story so unremarkable I can't even remember what it was about now. I don't give up on books, I stick it out. Until now. I gave The Savage Detectives 93 pages before I decided I just didn't care anymore. I didn't care about the narrator, or which books by which obscure Mexican authors he stole from which Mexico City bookshop. I didn't care about either of the two girls he'd slept with, nor any of the friends he'd made. And so I stopped.
I moved on to Fangirl. It was recommended by a new friend and I knew that if I waited until after another 400 pages of Savage Detectives it would be months before I got it back to her. Initially, I thought I'd go back to Savage Detectives after I finished. Now I know I won't. Why waste my life reading books I'm not enjoying? Why read books that make me not want to spend time reading? The clincher? I'll probably read more books total by not-finishing the ones that slow me down.
I like reading again, and that's a great thing, even if I'm reading light and fluffy books like Fangirl.